Dear Father Christmas

Dear Father Christmas, I have tried to be good all year with only a few minor incidents which were off the scale so please could you bring me a super new biography or possible an auto of same about you, your life, your poor childhood with only a toy made of turnip and how you ventured to the far north where magic and elves were as plentiful as reindeer and you were rewarded by the said Elven community for acts of courage and kindness and how you discovered your secret up and down the chimney trick.

If you could possibly answer some other problems relating to physics and biology concerning speed and age and possibly antigravity I would like to know as I would also like to fly same as you.

If you could have it illustrated by someone of repute and skill that would be extra fine.

If you could add some glitter and sparkle that would be extra extra fine. And Lego Star Wars. And a puppy.

Thanks Father Christmas you are the best. Also can you make it just right for me to read? I am somewhere between 7 and 10 but sometimes 6 is ok if mater & pater were to read it aloud. Can you sign it or find someone who can?

Don't forget the puppy.

You will find me on the Nice list. Feel free to check it twice. Your best friend, Tony