If you have ever received an anodyne or inappropriately chosen present from a distant relative, then you will know how Alexander feels when he is given the saccharine tale of Birthday Bunny, the latest in a series that includes Sweet Bunny Dreams and The Good Bunny.
Ah, what to do? Well, Corinthians advises thus: 'When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.'*
However, Alexander is the product of a generation that has been Wimpy-Kidded and he's clearly seen too many Transformer movies for his own good, so the book in our hands is his updated version. Battle Bunny wakes up on his Special Day ready to kick some forest creature butt and cut down as many trees as possible with his chain saw and show off his wrestling and Kung fu skillz and missiles. It is up to Alex to save the forest at the president's behest and defeat the deranged bunny and his mind controlled army of underlings.
It's a work of subversive genius that will probably lead to a Hollywood mash up.
Some books could undoubtedly be improved by such treatment but if you value your library of Little Grey Rabbit, Brambly Hedge and such I would put them under lock and key now.
*1 Corinthians 13:11King James Version (KJV)